The Nutcracker Ballet: A Photo Essay

 

I don't really have much to say, though I was waiting to post it until I maybe had a couple profound things.  But I don't.  I've danced since I was three, spent my whole life in ballet, and this was my last ever Nutcracker to perform in, maybe my last performance.  It was bittersweet.  Sweet because I love dancing, bitter because not only was it my last, performing lost some of it's sparkle this year, in all the aches and stress of not being good enough.  But I enjoyed it all the same, and I hope that anyone who reads this appreciates the art of ballet.  Because it is a beautiful thing.


lillian rachel

Camille

i.  Here are some shots I've taken the past few days of my mini me, Camille.  From a night of wearing fox ears and shivering while looking at Christmas lights, sitting on my desk, and taking pictures in the cold whilst waiting for our brother to get his hair cut.

ii.  It's interesting to try to manual focus every single picture because right now I have my dad's AF lens on a AF-S compatible camera.  It's difficult to focus farther away, but I like the challenge for now, until I can get my own lens.

iii.  Finally printed out all my pages of college apps, and have them all labeled in separate manila folders, all crisp on my desk.  I've got a lot of filling out my name and info to do, and essays to finish writing, but it's not as hectic now.

iv.  Dancing every night for several hours, in preparation for my last Nutcracker.  I've got four parts, and my sisters have a couple each too.  I'm very nervous, as I've got new shoes, which I hate, and it's not as perfect as I want yet, but I'm so happy to dance it all.

This is life, and it is good.

lil.

Twelve. of course

The power went out at my house, so I'm sitting in a coffee shop, drinking a mocha, editing pictures, and listening to Moby Dick until my next class.  It's nice. The reader of Moby Dick right now has a terrific accent.
Is it weird that I'm sad that 12:12 on 12/12/12 is over forever?  It's kind of just a sad moment.

Okay.  bye.

What those pages will hold

Every once in a while I will go through my stack of notebooks.  I'll read over my notes, lists, stories, poems, the sketches, the things from friends, the lyrics, quotes, doodles.  With each page, I remember the things I felt when I wrote them, or the place I was when I doodled.  When it comes to things past, notebooks bring memories of happy times, but no matter what, things are always different now than that time.  And sometimes that is sad.

I look through my notebooks, noticing large gaps where I didn't write because I was too happy, and then one little sentence explaining.  Or several pages filled with hurt or angry or sad words, remembering the cramp my hand got after the pages of writing through tears.

I never used to be able to keep a journal, I'm actually pretty terrible at it, when I was in seventh grade, I had to keep a certain number of journal entries a week, and every night before I had to turn them in I would scribble down everything that came to my 13 year old mind, and my teacher thought I was a goof because I was so random.

But I always wished I could be one of those people who could write down journal entries every night.  And while I'm not consistent enough, I have filled these identical seven notebooks in the past two-ish years, and I'll continue.  I like the spiral bound, and a fine point sharpie, or similar pen.

Nowadays, I take notes in sermons, write down lists, keep track of college info, and occasionally pages full of emotions.  But I'm still not "good" at having a notebook.

And while some of the things I read over that have happened to me in these past couple years make me sad (as I never seem to calm myself down enough to write entries of happy things), I can see all the random lists, occasional sentences, and scattered doodles of happy times.

And there are blank pages yet, and it's exciting, because there are a lot of blank pages to fill.  And I think that's a very nice thought.

Do you keep a journal?

To thee

Baking // School // Watching this // Listening to this // Delighting in my own camera from my really awesome friend Mercer // Ready-ing for The Nutcracker

happy wednesday all.

lillian rachel.

bind my wandering heart to thee.  

Write your words.

Write your words.  It's the title of the page for 750 words (I know I've mentioned it so many times).  But here's where it hit me.

 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, 

whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is 

admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about 

such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or 

seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Phil. 4:8-9

It's easy to complain.  It's easy to write what you think would be the most popular.  It's easy to not be honest, for whatever reason.  And it's easy to just think about lovely things.
We live in a generation of passivity, of thinking about lovely things, but never creating.

But I'd like to challenge you to Write Your Words.
Write from your heart, write what's real, write what's lovely.
We are the lights for our Creator, we are the cracked pots, that Jesus shines through.
So let your light shine.
Write your real words.

Whatever the platform, a blog, "real life", school, be real, and be a light for our Savior.

Don't write just anything, don't just photograph without meaning.
Go forth and create purposfully-put it into practice.  Create beautiful art, words, dance, with meaning, give praise to THE Creator in whatever means possible.
Write your words, take your pictures, dance your dance.

This is life, don't let it pass in imitation.

Give the GLORY to God, it's going to take more than thinking.

lillianrachel